I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
