We're facebook friends in real life
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
