hotel room ftw
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
