This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
