I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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