Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
