this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Drake has all the answers
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize