did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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