ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
