I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
True college students do jello shots in the library
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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