quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
