yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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