I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
