She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
