Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
