She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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