I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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