And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
