I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
