it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
