come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
