you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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