i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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