What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Boobs are out for the taking
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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