Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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