Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
