All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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