Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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