There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
