Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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