words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize