In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
