all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i drank out of a bidet.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
