dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
