"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
