were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
