seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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