The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
