if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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