I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
dude. I can hear the air.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
