That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
