it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
