I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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