I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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