Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
