I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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