What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
