It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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