the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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