Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
