For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
