Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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