Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
