That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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