So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize