I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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