Already got asked if we're dating
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
