Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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