I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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