In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
