..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
