I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
