that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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