I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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