I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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